


Quiet and Questions

by mearcats



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Deleted Scenes, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Angst, Mild Language, Regal Believer, mentions of Outlaw Queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-20 09:38:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6001168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mearcats/pseuds/mearcats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything is better together. During the six peaceful weeks in S4, Killian and Emma take stock of their pasts and their relationship, and how best to move forward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my CSSV gift for icapturedkindness on Tumblr. Contains Emma/Regina friendship and support. Beta'ed by Tara.

Emma stood near the island in the kitchen, enjoying the freedom to sip her coffee slowly. A day off, _finally_. She’d just picked Henry up from school and had nothing more than an evening of video games with him planned. She sighed with contentment as Henry clattered down the stairs.

“Hey, kid, you ready for some Mario Kart?”

“Actually, Mom, would you mind if I go hang out with my other mom?”

“Uh, sure. If that’s what you want to do.”

“I want to. She sent me a text and she just seemed sad. I really did want to play Mario Kart, but…” Henry looked far more apologetic than she’d ever seen a thirteen year-old had a right to.

“I get it. Want me to walk you over?” She smiled gently at her son.

He returned her grin happily. “Sure! Besides, this way you can hang out with Hook more.”

“I swear, Henry, did you pick up on match-making from Mary Margaret?”

“Moooooooooom. It’s not like you two aren’t together anyway.”

“All right, dude. Let’s get this show on the road.” She pulled on her red leather jacket and grabbed the keys, then placed her hand on Henry’s back. He quickly turned and hugged her. She swallowed the lump in her throat. He was growing up, and he might not always be so quick with his affection.

They wandered toward Regina’s, chatting easily all the way. Approaching the door of the imposing dwelling, Emma rapped on the door quickly.

The door opened suddenly and Regina would have looked imperious indeed had it not been for the softening of her eyes when she saw Henry. Her glance flicked back up to meet Emma’s as she embraced Henry. Their son hurried inside, seemingly realizing his mothers needed a moment to chat.

“Regina...how are you doing?”

The queen searched out her eyes, but when she didn’t find pity in the other woman’s gaze (sympathy aplenty, but no pity, mercifully), she relaxed a little. “As well as can be, Emma.”

“I just- I’m sorry. If there’s anything I can do…”

“You’ve already brought Henry to see me. Since you can’t bring back Robin and Roland, I don’t know that there’s anything else to be done.”

Emma sighed as Regina’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “No, I guess not. But if you ever need a drinking buddy again, we can-”

“What, hit up Granny’s and the Rabbit Hole?” The cultured, sardonic tones might have seemed harsh or mocking even a month earlier, but Emma recognized them for what they were -- the former evil queen’s attempt at regaining emotional equilibrium.

She smiled. “If that's what it takes, yeah. You know my mom will watch Henry.”

Regina gave her a rueful grin in response. “Heaven forbid it come to that. I don’t think he needs the extra dosage of ‘hope and rainbows’ Snow would give him.”

Emma reached out a hand to grasp her friend’s arm, “Hey, some hope isn’t a bad thing.”

A snort and a roll of the eyes met her uncharacteristically optimistic statement. “It seems the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. You truly are one of the Charmings....but thank you, Emma. I’m going to make dinner, and if you don’t have plans with Captain Guyliner, feel free to join us.”

“Thanks. I’ll let you and Henry have today, though. You’ll probably try to make something completely healthy and I’m in the mood for a grilled cheese.”

Regina quirked her brow. “I don’t know how you’re still alive, Miss Swan. But go. Have fun with your pirate.” She nodded her farewell.

Emma smiled. “I will.”

\---

Emma walked up to Granny’s, the proprietress of that establishment nodding at her as she headed straight up to the stairs leading to the rooms. She ignored the older woman’s smirk and took two steps at a time. Landing at Killian’s door, she knocked loudly.

It took only a couple moments before the pirate came to the door. The look of surprise and happiness on his face made her smile. “Hey, sailor.”

“Swan! I wasn’t expecting you.” The corners of his mouth turned upwards flirtatiously as he leaned against his door frame.

She smirked back at him. “Oh yeah? Expecting anyone else?” While the raising of her brow was nowhere near as expressive as his, it got the job done.

He laughed a little and stepped aside for her to enter the room. “You know very well you’re the only one who comes to see me here. Except for your father. And your company is infinitely preferable to his, I must say.”

“I just wasn’t sure if you’d still be at the library helping Belle or not.”

Killian’s face turned serious. “Aye, I was there earlier, but she seemed to desire some time alone after a couple hours.”

Emma stepped under Killian’s arm and entered the door, looking around the tidy room. She sat on the bed. “Introspectiveness seems to be going around today.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean, love?” He frowned. “Wait, was it not one of your days with the young lad today?”

She plopped onto the foot of the bed and patted the space beside her. “Regina was having a hard time, so I took Henry over there. She doesn’t have anyone else, really.”

He sat beside her and wrapped his arm around her, fingers finding the pocket of her jeans. He pressed his lips to her brow before continuing. “No, I expect she doesn’t. No one except Henry, you, and your parents.”

She leaned against his side. “It’s my fault, isn’t it?”

“Emma, no. It’s not your fault. It’s a terrible thing that fate drew them together and then tore them asunder. Fortune or fate, whatever you may call her, is a cruel bitch.”

Reaching to hold his hook with her left hand, she kissed his cheek. “I suppose so. I just don’t like seeing her so upset.”

He stood, leaving his hook in her hand. He pulled her toward the headboard and used his unmaimed hand to pull down the covers. “Aye, Emma. It’s a terrible thing to see those we care about suffering.”

Her lips curved in a small smile. “So your solution is to cuddle?”

He grinned back at her. “Can you think of a better solution, darling?”

“I guess not.” Emma kicked off her boots and climbed into the bed, tucking herself under the coverlet.

Killian was already barefoot, so he joined her under the blanket, reaching for her as soon as he was comfortable. His arms around her while her head rested on his chest, her arms around his waist, they both sighed with contentment. Lifting her chin with his hook, he pressed his lips against hers, kissing her slowly. “Life is unfair.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

He looked puzzled at the moniker she’d used. “One day, Emma Swan, I’ll understand your references.”

“Mmm. I’ll lend you Arthur Conan Doyle soon. Sherlock Holmes is a character in his books.” She met blue eyes with her own green ones. “But that’s not what we’re talking about, is it?”

The mattress dipped as they adjusted. “So the Evil Queen is unhappy.”

“You should probably stop calling her that. But yeah, she is. Since Robin left, she’s been depressed.”

“Losing love is hard, lass. You know as well as I.”

“Yeah.”

Killian cleared his throat before continuing. “When I lost Milah, I was adrift for hundreds of years. As you know.”

Emma sighed. “I know. And I didn’t trust another man after Neal until you.” She glanced up at him from her comfortable place on his chest, reaching up to caress his face. “How did you move on? I know it wasn’t all me.”

“Love, are you sure you want to hear this?”

“Yes, Killian. I want to know what happened, what made you... _you_.”

“To be honest, and cliché as it may be, time was the biggest factor. I still love my memory of Milah, but she has faded considerably. When it seemed like my vengeance wouldn’t be completed, I endeavoured to move past our time together. I buried myself in drink, and in-”

She placed her index finger over his lips even as she pushed aside the pain his unspoken _“other women”_ caused her. “I get that. I did the same thing after Neal, after I gave Henry up.”

“Letting go of love hurts.”

“Yeah, and we often do stupid shit to try to heal.”

“Do you think we really healed? Before finding each other, that is?” He looked down at, meeting her eyes imploringly.

She paused reflectively, running her fingers over his scruff. “I mean... yes and no? Maybe neither of us dealt with things in the healthiest way. I may have my walls, but I’m not broken anymore.”

“Nor am I, I suppose. Not the way I was, at least.”

“I guess time really does heal all wounds,” she mused quietly.

“But, love, it would have taken an age to get to where I am now had it not been for you.”

Emma smiled at him and ran her hand down over his neck, down further to tangle in the chest hair exposed by his haphazardly buttoned shirt “I know what you mean. I loved Neal, and I think part of me always will.” He nodded supportively at her, and she continued. “But I guess I knew we wouldn’t happen again, even though we fixed things between us. I did manage to heal. And you were so patient with me. I needed that.”

He pulled her closer with his left arm, tangling his right hand in her golden hair. “Truth be told, I needed it, too.”

“Yeah?”

“Love, I was focused on vengeance for centuries. From that to being a hero...it’s not an easy change, Emma. Rumplestiltskin may be gone, and I may be helping Belle. I care about both of you, in different ways, but sometimes I still want to bury my hook in the Crocodile’s neck.” He buried his face in the top of her head, shame evident in his voice.

Emma continued her soothing caress of his chest. “If it weren’t for Henry, I don’t know if I’d be able to move past what Neal did.”

“Aye?”

“Henry loves his father, loves his memories of him. I can’t take that away from him. And remembering Neal for all the good times for Henry’s sake has helped me, actually.”

“I don’t have anyone with whom I can remember Milah.”

“Killian, that’s not true. You can always talk to me about her. I may not want to hear about all your intimate moments, but I want to hear about the woman you loved. She’s Neal’s mother, Henry’s grandmother, and the woman you were devoted to for centuries...she must have been amazing.”

He made a sound low in his throat, swallowing his emotion. “Aye, my love, that she was. Brave and always seeking new lands and adventure.”

“Like you?”

Killian laughed quietly. “No, actually. Turns out I was always looking for home, while she was looking for adventure.”

Emma smiled understandingly. “But you found home with her.”

  


His eyes brightened and he kissed her nose. “I did. Was it that way for you with Baelfire, with Neal?”

Her eyes filled with tears. Killian was concerned for a moment, but then she looked at him warmly. “Yeah. It wasn’t all bad, you know? After...it was hard. But telling Henry about his favourite songs and quirks helps.” She nuzzled his neck.

He rubbed his chin against her head. “So you truly don’t mind, my love? Hearing about Milah?”

“No, Killian. She helped make you who you are, so I want to know. And I bet Henry would too.”

He paused. “I never thought I’d find a woman who relished me talking of a former love.”

“You’ve been around my past love. But that’s what it is, the past. I mean, it still matters. But moving on together...that’s something we’re doing, right?” Her voice was low and quiet, betraying her insecurity.

He grasped her chin and pulled her lips to his, kissing her gently before speaking. “Moving on? Emma...you’re so much more than moving on to me. You’re my future, my best friend.”

She teared up. “You’re my best friend, too.”

Killian met her eyes, wiping the moisture from her cheek. He smiled and lifted an eyebrow. “But are you my best friend that I get to make love to?”

Emma pulled away and giggled, wiping the last remnants of her tears away. “You know I am.”

\---

Later, they laid in the bed, sated from their passionate interlude. Killian was on his back, and Emma’s nude form was wrapped around his. He pulled her on top of him and buried his head in her shoulder, nuzzling her neck affectionately.

Emma sighed contentedly before speaking. “Do you think Regina will be able to find love again?”

“That’s her choice, but the queen is strong. And we have no way of predicting the future. Perhaps the thief will find his way back”

“I hope so. Killian?”

“Yes, love?”

“I’m glad we found each other.”

  
“Me too, Emma. Me too.”


	2. Ice Cream Really Is the Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Regal Believer outtake to the previous chapter. Written for Odette.

“Hi, Mom! How are you doing?”

 

“Oh, I’m fine, Henry. Are you behaving yourself for Emma and the Charmings?”

 

“What trouble do you think I’d actually get into?”

 

Regina smiled at the teasing tone in her son’s voice. The last few weeks since Robin and Roland had left had been hard, but talking to Henry always brightened her day. “There’s always something in this town. Anyway, what are your plans for today?”

 

“I was gonna play videogames with my other mom. Nothing too crazy. What about you?”

 

“I was thinking about reading a book that Belle recommended. Something by Joan Didion, I think. The one she wrote after she lost her husband. The little librarian seems to think it’ll help. We’re doing a little book club, apparently. As if we need additional _magical thinking_.” She huffed a little laugh.

 

Henry sounded concerned. “Are you sure? I can come over and hang out. We could make dinner and take a walk.”

 

“I don’t want to infringe on your time with Emma, Henry. And it’ll be okay, really.”

 

Her words were clearly unconvincing, since her son snorted. “That’s it, mom. I’m coming over and we’re having ice cream. I know Emma will be all right with it. I’ll be over as soon as I can.” He hung up before she could respond.

 

He was such a sweet child. He was growing up so fast, but she was determined to treasure her time with him. She pushed away her guilt at him coming over on a day that was Emma’s, hoping the other woman would be understanding. Some other time, when she didn’t feel as raw and hurt, Henry could go over on one of her days. But today...she needed her son.

 

\---

  
Later that evening, they were tucked under a blanket together, ice cream and spoons in hand as they watched _A New Hope_. Henry’s head rested on her shoulder, and she could see his eyes drooping. Regina pulled him closer and brushed her lips across his forehead. She was so, so grateful for the little boy who had come into her life, and so proud of the young man he was becoming. He’d given her so much to look forward to. Even now, as broken as she felt, she reflected that perhaps her son’s on-the-nose movie selection was rather appropriate.

**Author's Note:**

> While this "fades to black" in terms of smut, it's entirely possible I might feel inspired one day to write that bit as an outtake.


End file.
